The sweetest berries grow among the sharpest thorns
I feel discouraged to grab them too often during my life — in fear that I might get hurt in the way.
I am resistant to change. The need to control is a known saboteur, so when confronted with a life turn, I need to collect information and plan the new scenery in detail. Several unforeseen experiences have taught me to let go of the control and accept challenges with more resilience — but still, I find it hard to surrender gracefully.
I remember that particular day, almost ten years ago. I was a young woman standing on a packed subway at the peak hour, on my way home after another working day. Some days before, I received a job offer from a growing international company, and I still hadn’t made up my mind. For six years, I’d been working in a small agency where I found a second family. Life was running smoothly, I was earning a decent salary on a permanent role, and the working environment was great. I was stuck in my comfort zone. The idea of moving to a large company with hundreds of employees was a bit scary at the time. In addition to that, the company proposed a precarious forward contract and a salary that was not even higher than the one I was making.
“Risking a job change won’t be that worth it,” echoed in my mind.
On the other hand, the job offer attracted me due to some other benefits:
- I would be able to focus on my favorite role functions, rather than assuming the multiple tasks that the small agency required (most of the time with a tiny budget and little support);
- The company’s location was closer to my home (which represented a one-hour shorter trip back and forth);
- The company’s ecosystem was young and tech-savvy, offering this learning, evolving environment I had missed since my college years.
“If I don’t take the chance now, I might never have another opportunity to drive my career to the next level.”
When I get back to that day, it’s so easy to put myself again in that girl’s shoes. I remember well standing on the crowded subway, lost in my thoughts — weighing the pros and cons.
As the door opened and closed on another stop, I distractedly looked at its glass and saw my reflection. I stared at that sad, tired expression as if it was someone else’s face. I was only twenty-seven years old — the fatigue and melancholy vaguely reflected on that door glass revealed the truth to me. If that was my comfort zone, it wasn’t comfortable at all. I had been taking life too heavy with little return. I know now that I was living a lie — and I could keep on grabbing those same berries with ease, but they were no longer sweet.
My soul was urging me to assume the control and purpose of my life, finally. I promised myself on that day — I would go forward with the change.
Almost ten years later, let me tell you what that apparent small resolution brought me.
Working for that international company represented a significant turnaround in my career and opened many doors. I worked there for two years, and the learnings I brought essentially overcame my expectations. I left the company to embrace exciting opportunities, lead international challenges, and my career path has been positively evolving since then. I find myself at a place where I privilege performance excellence, genuine respect for human resources, and the right balance between personal time and work.
I met a bunch of interesting people with whom I shared invaluable knowledge and life experiences. Besides having built this extensive network of talented professionals working for the same area, I have kept a couple of sincere friends up to this day.
I fell in love with a colleague, and consequently, I was faced with the fact that I was surviving in a toxic relationship. The flood of feelings forced me to rethink the state of that commitment and the lack of a life project. I left the relationship and put myself together to start fresh.
New house, new sweetheart, and ultimately new me — I never felt so authentic and empowered to how I was finally leading my destiny. I’m happily married to that man almost ten years later, raising our child and brightening each other’s dreams. This incredible, fulfilling journey we’ve been walking together could have never happened if I had stayed in my first job.
That small, meaningful step turned my life upside down — and surprisingly, that was life’s best side.
Many times there are all kind of opportunities ringing at one’s door, and I find myself wondering how many of them I have missed due to fear. Am I lying to myself when I refuse a change for being cautious? Is prudence a mask I wear to remain at another seat of my comfort zone?
I’ll surely never know the answer. I hope that life gives me the signs whenever I step too far from my soul’s pathway — and the courage to never fear the thorns that wrap the sweetest fruits.
There’s no way to go ahead without leaving something behind.
Share your own experience or thoughts about life’s opportunities and change.
I’d love to hear more about it.
